When the child goes to college, the parents’ comparison is more intense. “Which university does your child attend?” If the child studies in Qinghua, Beijing University, or other famous universities, the parents will take a pride in their child; if the child has not been matriculated in a famous university, the parents will feel sad and ashamed of facing relatives. Above all, we can know Chinese parents put their faces in the first place. And in the western countries, these things never happen. An American friend, who is only graduated from a specialized middle school, works in a small store. In my opinion, he is almost below the life’s “the safety line”, and has little to be proud of. But his parents appreciate actually him much more. Why? Because he takes part in the piano performance in the community frequently, and obtains the reward many times. The main difference is that the college chosen by the Chinese children is usually famous one, and the Western children choose the college according to their own likes, instead of taking “famous or top college”as the decision factor.[ http://www.chinafew.com/jjdh/jtgj/jtgj_2005001.htm]
All this shows that the comparison of the Chinese family is often again studies, the aspect is unitary, and the comparison of the Western family often pays great attention to the comprehensive quality. The Chinese family likes to compare their own child's merits with other child's shortcomings, in which the parents may seek self-consolation. The western family often introspect their own child's merits and success, is not accustomed to seeking to do others down. To summarize, China's family often wants to highlight own image, disparages others unintentionally in the comparison; the western family often pays great attention to his own self-respect, self-possession, own happy.
In fact, Western family does not make the comparison painstakingly, but the Chinese family’s comparison has brought about a serious problem: Competing
Thirdly, the view of who is the main body of the family and the reciprocity of education are different.
The Chinese traditional family culture is following the dominant pattern, displays the family’s internal authority consciousness. It emphasis obedience and respects, takes the external control serious. The chief educator is parents in china’s traditional culture. The Chinese parents' guardian-consciousness is extremely intense. They regard the child as their own private property, regard him as their accessory. Therefore, the parents think highly of shaping the child unlaterally, affects the child's individuality construction. They pay attention to their own image, has neglected the child and adult's interaction, its process and comprenensiveness, so it causes the child to be in the passive position, disregard of the child's individual existence.
Whereas, the western civilization takes the child as the main body, emphasizes individual struggle, emphasizes equality, democracy and respects the individual right. The western parents think of the child as an equal member in the family, respect the child's personality and dignity, can let the child think independently and choose freely. They respect the child's right, do not do the compulsory education. They respect the child's self-respect, advocate child's instinct development, and the natural development. Parents' responsibility only lies in discovering and guiding the child's interests and potential ties, creating the advantageous environment for the child, paying attention the communication with the child, and the educational reciprocity. In the western home education, the parents are not child's dominations, but his friends.
Fourthly, the focal point of education is different.
What the China’s traditional culture grasps is life and morals, so the Chinese value life and the human relations extremely. Therefore, the Chinese parents have regarded the morals as the highest value orientation in the education. Especially, in the Chinese mind, “the good child” is a child who is obedient and sensible at first, aims at the community, liked at first sight. In that case, the guardian trains the child to practice the moral culture, cultivates mental poise, self-restraining, emphasizes reservation, and the idea of social rank. The main connotation of Chinese family education is “the mercy, righteousness, the ritual, the wisdom, the honesty, loyalty, forgiveness”, and the Chinese child was taught by historical story, ethics, loyalty, filial piety and integrity when he was young. The child was influenced by the ice-cold moral law and the rules and regulations, and studied 3-character classic and Younger brother Cuckoo since childhood.
从文化差异的视角反思中国幼儿数学教育
中美家庭教育比较